The Unseen Beauty

I wish I were..


5 kilos lighter
3 inches taller
a little bit whiter
prettier.

Those were just some of the crazy thoughts that has been running on my mind for days now. You see, in a land wherein brains are already given, beauty is the next thing a guy would look at. (If guys actually prioritize brains over beauty. Haha) Insecurity is a battle I face every semester. Nakikisabay pa sa acads. I will meet new classmates who would have it all- brains, beauty, money, fame and a perfect guy. Sila na. Sila na talaga. Friends contradicting me and telling me compliments are not that helpful, sort of. Hehe. Like saying, "Uyy hindi naman, maganda ka namaaaan." "Hindi ka naman matabaaaa." I have two eyes. I have a mirror. I have a weighing scale. I know what I am seeing.

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Yesterday, my mentor (Jasmin) challenged us to exude Proverbs 31: 10-31. READ IT HERE! It was actually a famous chapter for women and I have read it a lot of times but have not taken it to heart. She told us to read and observe the scripture, have an interpretation and application of the chapter. Eula and I dissected each verse! Literally. Haha. As we were doing it, it made me realize that you will never appreciate the whole picture if you do not pay attention to the very least details.

"Hindi siya siguro maganda kasi puro inner beauty tapos parting words pa ay 'Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last' HAHA jokeeee'"

It was a joke. Really. =)) My first reaction was it is too idealistic to be that kind of  a woman. (to name a few: strong, brave, energetic, trustworthy, hard working, has faith, talented, honors God) but then! I remembered those respectable women I have met in and outside of church. Don't they display such characteristics? In short, this is.. not impossible! The Proverbs 31 woman did not have a struggle about the way she looks. She knew how fleeting beauty is. The only "beauty tip" there was she dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. I know.. I know.. I have to change my perspective on "beauty."

Oh and one more thing, another verse that struck me was..

12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

Much emphasis on the latter phrase.  Jasmin shared to us her friend's insight about that- it is being the Proverbs 31 woman even before she meets her husband. Shoooocccckkkkks! Disqualified na ba ako? Hahaha! Struggle na nga yung qualities tapos dadagdagan pa ng isang issue about relationships. Haha. Whuuudduupp. =)) But you know, it is never too late to start all over again.

What a timely devotion we had. It was a beautiful reminder for me. It's just amazing how God could orchestrate happenings and speak to people on what to say and not to say. I have read a loooooot of increase-your-self-esteem-101 books (Christian and non-Christian authors) but nothing compares from personally studying the Word of God. One of my friends told me before that you cannot chew the same bubblegum someone has chewed. Chew the Word of God by yourselves! ;)

Dear female readers, uy parang ang daming nagbabasa ng entries ko. After reading this one, please have your own intimate session with God through Proverbs 31:10-31. :)

Soon-to-be Proverbs 31 women. HAHA! By God's grace :P I love these ladiess >:D<

Summer Time

Forgive my title. HAHA. For this is a super late post about my mini photoshoot that I had last summer. :) Thank you for my very loving friend, Gladee Lee Manantan and her gift for photography :>

Special thanks to:
Manantan residences. Hahaha! especially the garden part
Jamie Matienzo for lending me her kikay make-up stuff
Rizza Mae Abenido for the food after a tiring photoshoot :P
Alarice and Taylor Swift for being my inspiration <3

I did the editing. Hihi. :)

dress from a garage sale :))
belt and ring from St. Francis Square
sandals from SM Department store
necklace from Forever 21 (this is a gift. HAHA. I am too kuripot to buy an item at that store :P haha)
bracelet given by my cousin
guitar from Korea :>

... you could still look good with cheap items :P I don't know how to put on make-up, as in make-up make-up. HAHA. So I put a little bit of blue eye shadow and eye-liner, blush on then lip tint (not lipstick! :P my lips are naturally reddish. haha)








Daddy Dearest

photographer. tour guide. businessman. teacher. preacher. discipler. chef. tutor. FATHER.


I have never known such a versatile man like my father. He is a visible reminder to me that if you badly want something, you can do it. My mom often says that I am a carbon copy of my dad based on our physical looks and personality. Haha!

my dad looks "healthy" here :P heehehe.

after X number of years.. heehehe. :D

I love the way that he treats me like a princess... Princess Mulan not girly-girl princesses. I remember when I was a kid, he was my personal trainer on how to act like a girl. I remember walking with yellow pad on my head (it is a technique for good posture while walking), eating with a stick on my shoulder to maintain a straight body figure and how to sing and dance :P heehee. Not only that! He also taught me how to be brave and not always cry like a baby. And when I got older, he taught me how to be tough (fight for my rights) if needed.

Scratch all of those, the most important lesson that I learned from him is about God. He was the one who influenced me the most in believing to the true Father in Heaven. :) He was my teacher and good example of Jesus. :)

I love my dad just the way he is.. like how he loves his crazy daughter. HAHA! I know Chinese are not affectionate and very obvious when it comes to expression of their love but he has his special ways of extending it to his family. :)

Last Father's Day, we celebrated it in a very... kiddie way! haha. My parents' dgroup arranged a surprise Father's Day celebration in Jollibee Magallanes. :)

sooo.. kiddie huh? :))
They were like kids all over agaiiinnnnn.. I kind of got that same feeling too :P They played games..


and more games!


the mothers also had their share of "back to the kiddie days games"! heehee.


That celebration was one of a kind! We all enjoyed it! :) Look at how big my smile was in this picture with Jollibee =)) The kiddie fast food celebration I never had =))


HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDDDYYY!! :)

I told him to put on the Jollibee party hat. hahahah! I love how he rides at my korny styles. HAHA :P

22 Years of Love (and counting)

"Alam mo Sarah, wala 'yan sa itsura. Pinagdarasal yan. Hayaan mo, makakahanap ka rin ng gwapong foreigner katulad ng daddy mo" *smiles then laughs*

Those were the words that came out from my mother's mouth as I was ranting my insecurities to her. "Ma, buy me this, I should take this, I don't want to eat dinner" blablablablaahhhhh. All I care was my looks and she replied something... uhhh, far from what I was expecting. Haha! What made me laugh so hard was her second statement about gwapong foreigner :)) I guess she knows how much I like Chad Michael Murray and Adam Levine :"> Heehee. Anyway, let's not talk about my insecurities and my celebrity crushes here..

Well, what I'm driving at is my dad & mom's love story. I am not celebrating June 12 because of Philippine Independence for I know that it isn't the real independence day of our country. (Okay, you could Google it for yourselves and study Philippine history. Heehee) What makes June 12 memorable for me is my parents' anniversary.

June 12, 1990 was the date when my dad and mom swore to God, to the law, and to the people that they will be together "until death do us part".

Here's the photo during their wedding day :) What's my mix? 50% dad 50% mom. Haha! When my mom and I were looking at their wedding album earlier, I told her that I got dad's complexion, eyes and nose. On the other hand, I got the shape of her face, cheeks and teeth. :D

  

This is one of the highlights that I wait every time I attend a wedding ceremony- the exchange of wedding rings! Heehee. :>


Here's a photo with their parents. I miss my lola (Filipino term for grandmother) and ama (Chinese term for grandmother) :( Both died when I was young :( Neither of their father was there because they too, were dead before they got married :( Oh well, I know that my grandfathers were proud of my dad and mom. :)


..and the most nakakakilig part! heeehee :">


I thank God for giving me parents like them. They are far from perfection but I wouldn't trade them for any other. I admire how they were able to strike a balance between two different culture. (My dad grew up from a traditional Chinese family and my mom came from a traditional Filipino family) My dad served as an inspiration to me that they are still "perfect guys" who could be faithful to one and only woman. Heehee. And for my mom, I am inspired with her intimacy with God. She was the one who introduced Christ to my dad. Goes to show, she loves Jesus more than her then boyfriend. :P She always reminds me of the 6:14 rule...

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? - 2 Corinthians 6:14

And most importantly, what's the best thing about my parents is the One who is in the center of their relationship- GOD. I saw how bad life could get and how tempting it is to give up but truly, only by the grace of God our family is still standing strong! Every day, I thank God for giving me parents like them who values God and puts Him at the center of our lives. :)

After 22 years, nothing seemed to change with the way they look! :P Haha.

during my 18th birthday. Hello family! (c) Zeus Martinez
Cheers to 22 years of faithfully loving each other! I love you dad and mom! :)

Joyfully Waiting : Enlistment Blues

"While waiting, pray for what you are waiting for."


I feel unworthy to write about waiting for by nature, I am impatient. However, what prompted me to write about waiting was my enrollment experience. I am an incoming 3rd year student in the University of the Philippines- Diliman. For those who are studying in UP, you know how hard it is to enroll. (Hard is even an understatement) I had no power in our online enlistment of classes for I am neither a freshie nor a graduating student.


So what?


I had to enlist 3 subjects and an NSTP but my main focus here would be my journey to Math2. Haha. (FYI: Math and Science & Technology-related subjects are the most in-demand GE courses in UP Diliman.)


June 7, 2012


I woke up at 5:30am hoping to arrive in Math Building at 7am. My...plans..failed. God tested my patience early as I was on my way to UP. I encountered a heavy traffic along Katipunan area because...... it was the time wherein Ateneo and MC students go to school! How could I miss that? @___@ The jeepney was full and the heat was intense! Wraaahh! 30 minutes of my time was wasted. Honestly, I was worrying deep inside. I felt like the Hunger Games for Math was starting and there I was.. stuck in traffic. Then I started to pray. I talked to God and told Him how much I needed that subject. My feelings got better after I prayed and I was reminded of Matthew 6:25-27.


“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"


I arrived at Math Building at 7:45am and the line was circling around the hall. I stayed calm and said to myself, "Lord, let's do this. Challenge accepted!" At around 8am, the game began! ....and I was disqualified.


Rules: Tri-Col students should be the first to enlist (Tri-Col: students from the College of Arts & Letters, College of Science and College of Social Sciences & Philosophy) Non-tri-col students could enlist only after lunch.
Self-check: I am from the College of Education..... </3


I guess the registration assistant had mercy that she instructed those non-tri-col students to form a line outside MB 127. If my eyes were only a camera, I would have recorded how fast we ran! Hahaha. I was 9th on the line. :>


Time check: 8am
Hours left before 1pm: 5 hours


As I was waiting for the enlistment, I had my music player with me playing Christian songs and I was reading Philip Yancey's Prayer. It was just nice to keep calm and trust in God. I was.. joyfully waiting. :) God knows my desires. God knows how much I need Math. God knows how desperate I was for an MST. God knows I wanted to graduate on time. My only job? Wait and pray. I prayed with all honesty- telling Him how impossible that might seem, that I am weak and that I am not in control of the situation. I prayed then I let go. Deep within my heart I trust God that even though I wouldn't get the subject, I know that HE IS IN CONTROL. My friend told me before that although our plans 'succeed', if it is not God's plan, we will never be satisfied. So there, I patiently wait for my turn to get Math. I prayed. I let go.


And here are the lessons that I learned as I was waiting for Math2. (aside from letting go and letting God take care of the situation)


1) Practice the art of praying

I was able to apply what I was reading. Haha. Talk to God as you are waiting. And as you pray, acknowledge God's power. It will make you realize how big your God is and how small your problem is. :)


2) Be content


Of course I wasn't contented with what I got in our online enlistment. HAHA! But what I am saying here was to be content with whatever subject you may get. (or other things, if not related to academics) Be content with whatever God gives you because.... it is the best. :) God will always give us the best although we might not see its worth at first. I was open to the possibility that I would not be able to get Math 2 although I waited for it. Haha. Last semester, I lined up for 6 hours in gym hoping to get a PE but nothing fit my schedule. Heehee.


3) Talk to your friends


Waiting alone is sooo difficult. Not talking for 5-6 hours? Wild. At around 10am, distractions were starting to enter my mind. What ifs and worst case scenarios were beginning to pop-up. I knew I had to fight those thoughts! Haha. And, and, praise God because I saw a former classmate in the line! It reminded me of 1 Corinthians 10:13


"No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."


God indeed provided a way out! heehee. On a serious note, if you are waiting for something, do not box yourself alone. Tag your friends with you! Haha. Find a person whom you could open up and share your thoughts. (better if you tagged a friend that knows how it feels like to be in your own shoes.. and maybe, listen to your rants. HAHA)


4) Lastly.. WAIT ACTIVELY


Don't just sit there and wait in vain! Time is still ticking as you wait and this is a gasgas quotation: Time is gold. Waiting should not be a license for you to waste time. I prayed, read a book, listened to songs, thought about things, wrote some of my thoughts and talked to a friend as I was waiting. In application to 'real life', find things you could do as you are waiting for that something or someone so that you wouldn't get bored in your waiting journey. Heehee.


.... so what happened after I waited for 6 hours? (5 hours became 6 because the registration assistants and professors had to fix something)


God answered my prayer! :) That smile on my face when I finally got what I have been waiting for <3 Sobrang nakakatuwa lang :) I was kind of curious with my reaction what if I didn't get it. Haha. But I was so sure that I had peace within me all those time that I was waiting. :)


Although this is one of the hardest enrollments I ever had (so far), I got to feel God's presence working in and through me. There's joy in waiting! :)


I saw this funny photo in Facebook. Heehee. Credits to the one who made it!


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